When it comes to parenting, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Different families adopt a variety of styles, ranging from strict discipline to more relaxed methods. Emma, a 38-year-old mother, belongs to the latter category. She recently shared her heartfelt journey with Bright Side, describing her efforts to break away from the authoritarian style she grew up with. Her unconventional parenting methods have sparked criticism, especially from her husband and those around her, and now Emma is seeking advice from other parents.

Emma’s decision to parent differently is rooted in her own experiences growing up. She recalls being subjected to strict rules and high expectations, which left a lasting impact on her mental well-being. “My parents were authoritarian, and the pressure they put on me was immense,” Emma says in her letter. “It led to anxiety and a strained relationship with them. For years, I didn’t even realize how much it affected my self-esteem.”

Determined not to repeat this cycle, Emma decided that when she had children, she would raise them in a compassionate and understanding environment. Her aim is to create a home filled with love, respect, and open communication. “I want my son Georgie to feel heard and valued—something I didn’t always feel as a child,” she explains. “It’s important that he learns empathy and responsibility, but I want to guide him through these lessons instead of imposing them through strict rules.”

However, Emma’s approach hasn’t been without challenges. Her husband believes that their son, Georgie, who is now 8 years old, needs to learn traditional social norms, including the importance of apologizing and understanding consequences. This difference in their parenting styles has led to frequent disagreements. Emma feels that forcing children to say things they don’t genuinely mean can cause psychological harm. “I won’t make my son say ‘sorry’ or ‘th
Emma’s parenting philosophy was recently put to the test during an incident at a playground. When Georgie pushed another child, Emma chose not to demand an immediate apology. Instead, she approached the other child and apologized on Georgie’s behalf, hoping that her son would observe her actions and learn from her example. But the other child’s mother was not satisfied and insisted that Georgie apologize directly. “When I explained that I didn’t want to force him to apologize because I believe it could be psychologically harmful, she called me an irresponsible mother,” Emma recalls.

This incident further increased the tension between Emma and her husband, who believes that stricter discipline is necessary. Many of their friends and family members also disagree with Emma’s approach. “Some people think that being a good parent means controlling your child’s behavior to maintain your own reputation,” she says. “But I believe my role is to be a friend to my son, to help him understand his emotions and navigate the world.”

Despite all the criticism, Emma stands by her approach, which centers around fostering a nurturing environment where Georgie can develop both freedom and responsibility. She emphasizes that her method doesn’t mean she’s ignoring her role as a parent. “I’m not saying I’m equal to my son, but I don’t see myself as superior to him either,” she explains. “We have a strong bond, and when I need time for myself, I tell him. Now, he’s learning to communicate his needs with me in the same way.”

Emma acknowledges that the constant judgment from others has made her question herself. “I’ve always believed in my parenting style, and I’ve seen positive changes in Georgie because of it,” she writes. “But with all the criticism coming from my husband and other parents, I’m beginning to doubt myself. Am I doing the right thing for my son? Am I too relaxed in my approach? Or is everyone else just too stuck in the old ways of doing things?”

Towards the end of her letter, Emma opens up about her uncertainty and calls for advice from other parents. “I’d love to hear from others—what do you think of my approach?” she asks. “Am I wrong to believe that forcing kids to say ‘thank you’ or ‘sorry’ is harmful? Or is there another way I haven’t thought of?”

Emma concludes by reaffirming her love for her son and her desire to raise him with empathy and understanding. “I want Georgie to grow up in a way that lets him feel free, loved, and heard. Maybe my way isn’t perfect, but I’m doing my best to break the cycle I grew up with, and I hope that counts for something.”

If you’re a parent, what do you think about Emma’s approach? Could this parenting style be beneficial, or do you think there should be more structure and traditional discipline?